How Charlie the Zebra Got His Stripes


Sometime in ancient history (8-Jan-1988, actually), CompuServe user 71001,1464 (that was yours truly until 29-Feb-1996) was hooked on their near-trivia game, “You Guessed It!” About then, I got nominated to run a YGI! tournament. I ran to a far corner of the Rewards Trailer, found an old official’s shirt, and pulled it on. From that moment forward, I was “Charlie the Zebra”.

(It didn’t hurt that I was also the rules interpreter for the Rutherford, N.J., Little League and the borough recreation department’s Biddy Basketball program. The zebra shirt sorta fit.)

The tournament ended, but I kept playing YGI! on occasion and frequenting the Multi-Player Games Forum. Oh, we had a grand old time. The following bits of drivel come from a file that made it onto their bulletin board sometime in 1988 or ’89:


THE OFFICIAL YGI! SONGBOOK

Compiled by Charlie the Zebra (71001,1464)

The Original Entry:

“Take Me Out to the Rewards Trailer” was composed on a whim during a dragged-out game of YGI!. The system detailed a warped rendition of the song by the YGI! Orchestra, and the lyrics hit me as I sat there. I uploaded them in msg #77417, and ascribed them to that prolific lyricist, “Anonymous”.

Take me out to the Rewards Trailer
Take me there all alone
Buy me some software and Gifts of Time
I don't care, ’cause the pleasure’s all mine
We must root, root, root for the system
To post my credit today
Or it's one, two, three debts, I’m /OFF
And then I can't play

Msg #77417 was uploaded 23-Jul-89 00:32:36 EDT. Our dear assistant SysOp tree, Bonsai, chimed in just twelve hours later with the following tribute to the ducks: the grand second verse.

Take me out to the Lobby,
Take me out to the pond!
Buy me a marggie and beer, my dear,
If you do then I’ll ever be fond,
Forr it's Toot toot toot on your own horn,
If you don't get a game!
For it's ONE ... TWO ... THREE Ducks and a Penguin
In the YGI! Hall of Fame!

At 15:17, Ace pulled the following out of the deck:

Well, Charlie ... While browsing thru my old Everly Bros. records, I found the original version of their lyrics to “Til I Kissed Ya”. Much to no one’s surprise, it went ...

Ooooh, I never knew what I missed Til I Glitched It
How could I know I had missed Til I Glitched It (oh, yeah)
Bob has got a way about him
Can’t get the bonus points without him
Never knew what I knew I didn’t know Til I Glitched It
Oh, yeah, I Glitched It
Um-hummm, I Glitched It

(Phil & Don continue, but in the interest of good taste, I won’t)

The next evening, along came Zardoz, who sung the “Ballad of Bob Illuminati” to the “Beverly Hillbillies” tune:

Come listen to a story about a man named Bob
A poor emcee who couldn’t find a job
And then one day when logging on a bit
He found himself the host of You Guessed It!
(Trivia, that is. Bad puns. Shiny teeth.)

Now all Bob’s friends with glee
They said GAM-17 is where you ought to be
So he uploaded his jokes and plaid dungarees
And made us all sick in the YGI! lobby
(With the Big Board. Judges. Phil Vox.)

And that, so far, is the Saga of the YGI! Songbook. By all means, PLEASE keep those lyrics coming! If I vanish for a while, contributions will be gratefully accepted at 71001,1464. Who knows?

Charlie the Lyrical Zebra


Gradually, I faded away from CompuServe. I spent a few months on Delphi, a few days on GEnie, and lots of time on local BBSs, until the beginning of November 1993, when I discovered AOL (where I had an account until May 2005). I maintained my CIS account through February 1996 for things like going in and out to grab sports scores from AP Online or phone numbers from Phone*File. (Now I’ve found I can get all those goodies right here on the Internet.) But just like in YGI! and on all those local bulletin boards, I remain ...

-- Charlie the Zebra


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CharlieZ at verizon dot net - last updated 10-May-2005